Friday, January 30, 2009

Bench Period - in Java

This is a description of life on bench in software industry compiled inJAVA language ;)

class Bench extends Life()
{
void checkMails(){
while(!bored){
Click(“SendReceive”);
}
}

void drinkCoffee(){
Go(ToCafetaria);

while(true){
drinkCoffeee();
}
}

void ForwardMails(){

ClickForward(On all the incoming Mails);
}

void chatOnCommunicator(){

Ping(“The busiest person until he starts believing that bench is heaven”);
Chat(With people on bench even if they are sitting across your cubicle);
}

void riteBlogs(){

Think(crazy stuff);
Open(Word Doc);
Write(Post in MS-Word);
// To let your manager know about that you work even when there is no work

Publish(Post);
Wait(for the Comments);
}


void askforProject throws Exception(){
try{
Beg(“Allah ke naam project de de baba”);
//In name of God,please give me project
}


catch(NoProjectException e){
Blame(“Economic slowdown”);
         }

       catch(SkillsNotMatchingException e){
StartPraying(God Save Me);
}
finally{
MadeBillable(Project Assigned);//hope soaring :)
}
}

void doSleep();
{
System.out.println(“Zzzzzz…”);
}
}

public static void main(String[] args) throws Exception{

Bench Me = new Bench();
Me.doSleep();

If(Manager==Available){

         Me.drinkCofee();//To stay awake
Me.riteBlogs();
Me.askforProject();

}else{
while(!Manager){

                                Me.checkMails();
Me.ForwardMails();
Me.chatonCommunicator(); //Improves communication skills
Me.doSleep();

}
}
}

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